First of all, I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve even considered it. I’m all about the natural world and thrive when I’m immersed in it. Willingly altering my body through surgery sounds completely ludicrous. But this is a truth telling blog and I found my intellectual view challenged as of late. I will explore why.
I’m a testament to environmental influence. I live in Orange County, California, where the artificially fully-endowed is the norm. Your eyes get used to seeing the ubiquitous fully formed breasts of many women. Not only is it the casual observation, it’s actually been the topic of conversations to which I’ve been privy.
Also, I’m the mother of two who recently experienced the demoralizing effects of “deflation” post-breastfeeding. To anyone who has nursed their little one and observed the results after weaning, I know we share some sense of disappointment with the result. A friend once described the post-breastfeeding breasts as “wet socks”. At the time, I thought it funny. Now, I weep with the humor and reality of it.
And then there’s age. The more time that passes, the more sagging that happens, naturally.
Wouldn’t it just be easier to have it otherwise? I know lots of people who do. Many of them are dear friends, even family.
I made the mistake of checking in with my husband about it. My husband, who insists I look better without makeup, a man who prefers “a” to “t”, actually said he wouldn’t object to it. He said that he’d probably enjoy it, while at the same time admitting that he wouldn’t do it if he were in my shoes. Sweet husband that he is, he also reassured me that it is by no means something he would want me to do. He enjoys me as is, too. (Phew, my husband stands by me, bottom line.)
I have recently brought my escapist thoughts back to reality. There are many reasons why I know that undergoing surgery to shape my breasts in a different way is not a choice I will make.
1) There’s no medical reason for it. Thank God, I have not had a masectomy or any other condition that would prompt me to do so.
2) I have something there that I can still appreciate. I’ll see the glass has 1/8 full rather than 7/8 empty.
3) I’m athletic. I love surfing, running, swimming, and a multitude of activities where being more fully endowed would likely interfere and mitigate my experience.
4) I’m a yogi. I do yoga everyday. Observing and appreciating my body is my vocation. Altering my blessed body seems downright foolish and antithetical to that purpose.
5) I’m super sensitive to my body. I can imagine that any kind of scar tissue or foreign object in my body would be most uncomfortable to me, in particular.
6) I want to age gracefully. I believe it would take me a step in the opposite direction, a step toward denying the naturalness of things.
7) There are risks and complications involved in getting surgery. A woman I know had painful scar tissue removed and others have taken out their implants. Avoiding such jeopardy seems wise.
What kind of example would I be setting for my daughters? They’d learn that I was dissatisfied with my breasts and therefore chose to alter them surgically. If my own daughters were unhappy with anything about their body to the point of considering surgery, I would want their views to be enlightened by the sanctity of this life. I want the same for myself.
9) What kind of example would I be setting for teenagers that I teach? Teenagers are tuned in to the truth they see around them; they take note of their role models as well as parents. How would my message and encouragement for girls to take charge of their physical, mental, and spiritual health be interpreted?
And so I conclude my internal debate. My relief is in putting it to rest, not for making the “right” decision. I do not consider myself superior to my sisters who have chosen otherwise. For in putting the question down, I’m available for the here and now: my beautiful daughters dancing and learning to walk, the next wave I’ll surf, a good hug with my husband, an exchange with my students. As for my drive to look my best, I hear a good bra can do wonders.
I agree with everything but #3. As a naturally larger woman, and teen – I had and have, an active lifestyle. “They” don’t get in the way, they are “me”. That is a reason you may worry about but just so you know, if you did, you can still be very athletic!
However, I love what you wrote and I think it is fabulous…kudos for being true to yourself, body mind and spirit!
Women who are larger should also think about these same things – many women who are naturally larger want to feel “less fat” and reduce… if anyone does choose it, it is right for them, but those who opt for their natural body should be commended also!
OMG, why oh why would you ever consider it! so happy you decided not to do it!
Living in Southern CAL can be challenging….natural is the best way to go….do not alternate your body or eat products that have been altered!
Natural, free and confident!
you are amazing just the way you are.
hugs and love
Hello Christy
Thank you for sharing such a personal struggle. I believe that our society makes it easy for us to second guess the natural path that our bodies should take no matter how hard we try to fight the hands of time. I am a very well endowed woman. And with each child, by breast got bigger!! I would hate to see what I looked like if I had had child #4. Not only am I a yoga teacher, but I also run and love to be active. I have actually worn two bras at the same time to help with support. I have been chaffed to the blood when running long distances because of these darn boobs. But, I’m told I look great in tight sweaters! I contemplated the opposite…REDUCTION. I squeeze myself into 36D cup because I refuse to go to a DD. Can you imagine what I will look like in my 60′s? Then I stop and think; if I can live to be 60 and still have a healthy body I will be blessed for sure. These negative thoughts are like waves that come and go. I too have a very wonderful husband who loves me just the way I am. And I too would never want my children to think that if we are not happy with our bodies, just have surgery. It definitely sends the wrong message. Change starts at home. Let’s educate our children to be more accepting and loving to everyone for their inner beauty and not for their perceived outer beauty. I truly hope that your struggle is over. But if the wave hits again, make a list of all the wonderful things in your life. Your healthy body being at the top of the list. And remember that some women never wake up from these surgeries!
Big hugs,
Julie
Great blog- thoroughly enjoyed it. But does your (natural) sister get no credit for the massive redirection you took reflected in this blog? : )
Christy – I loved your blog! It was such a great read – What a great topic! I have a couple friends who are in your shoes after having two children and go back and forth on the idea! They will love this! And YES there are some GREAT bras that can do the trick for that cute shirt you want to wear!
Hi Christy!
Good decision! I can’t imagine you doing it! You are the last person I would have guessed that might be considering it. You are beautiful! I have always been comfortable with my very small chest and never had the desire for more. Yes, they were larger before I nursed for 17 months, but the pleasure my child gives me far out weighs any thought of larger breasts.
Love yourself the way you are
Ha ha ha.
Ok, first of all I have been to the OC and this is no exaggeration!
Next, I had a breast removed and opted for no reconstruction at the time. Instead I lugged around a silicone prosthesis in an army-like issued bra for 13 years. (Not the same bra for all of those years mind you!) After leaving the prosthesis behind more times than I could count, and having the fitter tell me I probably didn’t need one as I was so ‘tiny’ to begin with that no one would notice, also that she may not have a prosthesis as small as i needed, I finally had reconstruction surgery and enhancements. Dang, I should have done this right from the removal surgery.
Not only am I cooler during the summer (that prosthesis was hot and made me sweat like a man), but I feel so much lighter. No longer am I carrying the daily loss and weight of surgery scars from the removal. I feel complete again. And remember I said enhancements? No one has ever said I look un-authentic or look at me differently once they find out. I am not visually an OC gal!
When you consider enhancements, trust yourself and follow your heart. Think about what you need and what is right for you.
Life is not about size, but the depth of your heart – once you open it. Namste on your decision.
Amen, Christi! I couldn’t agree with you more. I feel the same way, not only about my breasts (or lack of), but the wrinkles on my face as well. The way I see it, I’ve earned every one of my wrinkles; they are testimony to a life filled with much joy and many challenges. And I’ve heard it said that if you smile and laugh a lot, your wrinkles will show up in all the right places when you’re older!
Lol – love it! If it’s any consolation – they won’t stay like that forever. Mine had the wet-sock look after 2 babies in 2 years, but yoga is fantastic for getting them back up where they belong. My kids are 14 & 16 now, and many hundreds of down dogs later, they are back where they started (& have been for several years) looking fine & healthy. Cellular memory is a great thing!
I can relate to everything you’ve written… I went as far as scheduling an appt. and something inside me didn’t feel right. Every point you’ve made lies so true. I am also a yogi and it goes against every belief I have. So I ask myself why is it that I considered this? I also want to be a positive role model to my children and students and to teach them that we are perfect exactly the way we are and to truly love and accept ourselves. Thank you for your inspiration! Namaste´Wendy
Christy, I too being a small woman considered implants. You can’t get a sexy lace bra anywhere in a 34-almost A. My husband talked me out of it. (My sister in law had them, they burst and she had years of painful surgeries.) I am now 55 and am so glad I chose not to go that route. My yoga is so much more fulfilling (pun intended) in my natural state. My age has brought blissful contentment with my body the way it is. I don’t care if people think I’m..well… flat chested. I’m happy and that is what counts.
Sue
Hi Christy, Thanks for keepin’ it real(in so many ways)! I can totally relate to your struggle with this topic and I, too, am working to embrace and love my body as it is. Staying healthy, physically AND mentally, is where our authentic beauty resides.
I’m with you, small is O.K. Thanks, again, for sharing your insights and hope all is well with you.
Namaste, Carol
Wonderfully honest!
Thank you for your courage to share this issue. Although I have never considered implants, as a small breasted woman, I struggle with my breast size. Oh to be larger… but I am not. And I am beautiful the way I am, because of who I am. Thank you again. Much love!
I LOVE THIS!!!
And I sheepishly admit to investigating getting one as well. I even had a consult! *De-Flation* is sooo apt and absolutely truth. I was feeling very…mommy-ish. Not at all sexy, alluring, pretty.
And for me, as well, the power of the practice won. It just felt…wrong. Although I must admit my initial reasoning was the down-time and not-being able to fully practice asana. I look back now and I know that the *spark before the flame*, that *ummm…good lord I don’t feel completely okay with doing this*, was SPOT-ON.
Do I wish my boobs looked like a VS model? Sure. Especially when I am intimate with another, or it’s swimsuit season.
But it is what it is. And I nurtured two lives with these breasts, bonded with two beautiful babies, gave life-sustaining food to my children. It is a badge I now try to wear with PRIDE.
Excellent blog, Christy:)))
Love that you posted this, sister!! Small booby girls are braver – especially in the OC
. I also pondered, checked in with hubby, and elected to remain 1/8 full 
. Down dog & cobra would be too awkward, too..
I am applauding your words! I too am an all natural girl, always proud to be so, but have toyed with the idea of doing this brutal thing to my body. It seems rediculous that I would even consider it, but it proves that we are all susceptible to the pressures of the media and fashion.
I never had perky breasts. I did not realize until I was 28 that i was not the only one who had breasts that grew down, not straight out. I nursed my only daughter for almost a year. Now in my 40′s the idea has crossed my path numerous times but when I look at my breast now they are not much different than when i was young. I must be one of the luckier ones, it is obvious that surgery would be completely cosmetic and therefore pointless.
Thank you for sharing your truth and process. The idea that our physical appearance should take presidence over our health is appalling and a twisted message to our youth.
Thank you, Christy for bringing that internal struggle out to all of us, to help me clarify my own thoughts, to feel less alone in the same struggle, as well as prompting such thoughtful and sincere discussion about the side of this issue that is often not discussed critically. Thank you so much, and may your life, your mind, body and spirit be blessed and joyful!!